


Armed I am with love, disarmed

by devera



Category: FAKE (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-08
Updated: 2012-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:51:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devera/pseuds/devera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Dee's desire to be that guy who's willing to help others means he needs a little help himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Armed I am with love, disarmed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Springkink Challenge 2012. Prompt: FAKE, Dee/Ryo: undercover operation gone wrong, role reversal, rescue - Dee had always been the one to rescue him, but now he was the one who needed rescuing.
> 
> Title from a quote by Manuel Alegre. Unbeta'd, therefore all mistakes are mine. They say that's the only thing you can call your own anyway.

"Now, listen buddy... You don't get your hand off me in the next three seconds you're gonna-"

The look on Dee's face, when he turned towards his apparent assailant, was almost comical. For a second.

"Ryo? _Ryo_? What the-" And then Dee seemed to remember where he was and what he was doing, looked around the club, at the other staff, at the customers, and then twisted his arm in Ryo's grip, grabbed onto Ryo instead and pushed, propelling him backwards towards the relative shelter of one of the concrete supports.

"What the hell are you _doing_ here?!" he hissed, looking about as angry as Ryo had possibly ever seen him. "Are you crazy?"

Ryo waited until he was finished and then calmly removed Dee's hand from his arm. Dee wasn't the only one who could do angry.

"Well, when the Captain told me where you'd _be_ for the next several nights in a row," he said, and perhaps later he'd relate to Dee how that conversation had gone, "I went to Vice and I convinced them that it would be in everyone's best interests to let me provide you with some extra backup."

Dee opened his mouth, worked it a moment with no sound coming out and then shut it again. In the club's garishly coloured lighting, his expression looked particularly hard.

"You convinced them," he repeated, then sighed, the hardness in his face dropping with the slight slump of his shoulders. "Jesus. Just tell me you didn't hurt anyone, Ryo. Some of those guys owe me money from our last poker night."

Ryo smiled, benignly, he thought. It didn't seem to reassure Dee.

"Fine," Dee sighed again. "You're here now. Not a hell of a lot I can do about it, is there. But for the record I am seriously not happy with you. _Or_ them."

That was probably for the benefit of the ears that were currently listening in on their conversation over the one way mic Ryo, and probably Dee too, was wearing. Although thinking about where Dee's mic was hidden just made Ryo mad all over again.

" _You're_ not happy with _me_?" he repeated, and possibly – no, probably – this wasn't the place for this particular conversation but he couldn't, or more to the point didn't _want_ to, remain silent about it. "And what, exactly, did you think _I'd_ be when I found out you'd been seconded for an undercover operation in a _male_ _strip club_?"

"See?" Dee shot back, almost sounding exasperated. "This is exactly why I didn't tell you. Vice have been trying to get someone in here for weeks now. They found out I knew the floor manager's brother and asked me if I'd help out. It's no big deal. I'm just going to snoop around for a few nights, see what I can see. Besides," he added. "It's not like they've hired me as a dancer or something."

Ryo's jaw ached with how hard he clenched his teeth then. "No," he gritted out through something that was supposed to look like a smile but probably wasn't. "They just dressed you like one." He looked down the long lean line of Dee's body – bare torso, lean waist, the gentle bump of his hip bones and then the slope of his groin muscles towards the smallest, the tightest, the lowest and most revealing pair of shorts Ryo had possibly ever seen. Also possibly the most tasteless. They were lime green. "Or, no, wait," he added icily. "They usually wear _more_. At least to start with."

"A, how would _you_ know," Dee hissed, but his weight shifted like Ryo's gaze was making him uncomfortable, "And b, you just don't _trust_ me." It was an accusation. "And so we're back to the reason why I didn't tell you in the first place."

Ryo opened his mouth to reply – although he wasn't exactly sure what he was going to address first – when a massive, meaty hand came down on Dee's shoulder. Dee jerked and looked around and when Ryo looked too, this tower of Polynesian muscle looked Ryo right in the face and said to Dee, "This guy bothering you, Dee?"

"Uh," Dee said, and Ryo could actually see him shifting back into his cover identity with a swiftness that was actually a little startling. "Nah. Well, a little maybe. But he's cool," he said, accompanied by a meaningful look at Ryo. "He was, uh, just wondering if I danced as well."

"You ain't supposed to pull while you're on the floor, you know that," the bouncer said. He didn't sound like he quite believed it, but he was, for now, not questioning the heated discussion Dee and Ryo had been obviously having. "Don't matter if youse homo or not. Customers is off limits. Pick up on your own time."

"I know," Dee agreed. "Sorry, Jasper. I'll get back to work."

Jasper nodded and patted Dee on the shoulder and then let him go, and lumbered off, and Christ, that guy could have snapped Ryo in half with one hand tied behind his back.

"You told them you were gay?"

Dee frowned at him. "Bi. And why shouldn't I? They don't care."

Perhaps the implication that Ryo shouldn't either was there, but Dee didn't say it, and neither was Ryo about to voice his suspicions about why Dee had been picked for this job. Sure, he probably did know the floor manager's brother - and Ryo was going to find out all about that later one, by the way - but on the other hand it was all so horribly convenient. After all, plenty of people in the force who knew him or knew of him knew he was bisexual. They also knew he was a little on the reckless side. If anyone would agree to go undercover in a place like this - not technically a gay bar but close enough - it was bound to be Dee, and Dee, the idiot, was just too nice to refuse.

"You just should have told me," Ryo told him finally.

Dee flashed him a look, his attention for the moment back on the bar where he was supposed to be picking up orders. "What? That I'm bi? You already knew that."

"That's very funny," Ryo said in a tone that indicated the direct, proportional opposite.

"Isn't it?" Dee agreed, and at least they seemed to be in accord there. "So," he sighed. "I suppose you'll want me to bring you a drink or something." Clearly this was him accepting that Ryo was staying but this was far from over and they both knew it. "What table?"

"Nine," Ryo said, somehow feeling defeated even though he'd won.

"Fine. I'll water it down a bit. It'll cost you in tips though."

"You eat at my place. I'm not giving you a tip."

"You'd better tip," Dee warned, eyes narrowing. Apparently Ryo's weak attempt at a joke had not gone over as well as he'd hoped. "And you'd better put it down my pants and not blow my cover. You look like you're more interested in me than the guys up on stage, and _maybe_ the manager won't get suspicious for the wrong goddamn reasons and wonder what's up."

"I _am_ more interested in you than the guys up on stage," Ryo said.

"Shut up," Dee told him. "I'm still mad at you." And maybe it was the lights, but he looked like he was blushing a little when he said it. "Go back to your table. Try to behave yourself." Of course, anyone who knew either of them would have seen the irony in that command - Ryo was usually quite well behaved, at least when it came to most things, but before he could point this out and maybe start another argument, Dee turned and started walking away. "Fuck knows why the guys let you in on this," Ryo heard him say, but it seemed mostly to himself and if he said anything else after that he was too far into the noise of the club for Ryo to hear him.

Ryo stood for a moment and watched as he disappeared, conflicted. He'd known it was a bad idea, but he'd been so _angry_ at Dee for not telling him, for avoiding any mention of it, for outright _lying_ to him... It wasn't fair for Dee to accuse _him_ of not trusting; Dee was the one that didn't trust Ryo first.

But on the other hand, perhaps Dee had been right not to mention it, because Ryo wasn't just angry at being lied to. He was... something else, something that maybe made his gaze linger on Dee's ass, tight and round in those tiny little green pants, as he stomped away; something that made Ryo promise to himself he would break the hand of the first guy who even _thought_ about touching it.

+++++++

He didn't of course, but it was a near thing. Only Dee's easy going charm and his ability to pretty much talk his way out of anything kept Ryo in his seat when one of the men at a table of five, three of them women, drunkenly groped Dee as he served them their drinks.

But before Ryo could do more than tense in preparation for getting up, Dee just twisted out of Mister McGrabby's reach, laughed and said something that shut them up pretty quickly, actually. Ryo had no idea what the conversation had involved, since the mic Vice had fitted him with didn't transmit in the opposite direction, but he was more relieved than the situation seemed to warrant when Dee flounced away back to the bar, dollar bills sticking out of the low slung waistband of his shorts and the table of five with their attention back on the stage.

Ryo sat back in his chair and took another sip of his watered down drink. What was he getting worked up for? Dee could handle himself. He'd been doing it his whole life, from orphanage to police precinct and God knew what in between, and what's more, Ryo was starting to think he'd been right. After all, it wasn't like there weren't two other agents in a van outside. It wasn't even like this was a particularly high profile sting. Which led Ryo to wonder – maybe he _was_ here because he didn't trust Dee?

He nursed that thought while he nursed his scotch, and was still mulling it over when another drink appeared.

"There's the juice you've been waiting for," Dee said, but since Ryo hadn't actually ordered any he knew he meant something else. He leaned back in his chair and let his eyes slide up Dee's frame until they hit his face. Dee's smile was a little tight around the edges. He was worried about something, and of course, 'juice' didn't always mean 'juice', not in the force.

Ryo casually scanned the room, like he was accepting a drink from an unknown admirer when he was, in fact, scanning for new faces. His gaze automatically alighted on one in particular before easing past without looking like he'd seen him.

"Holy shit," he breathed, holding his mild, interested smile as he looked up at Dee again. "That's Ronnie Forzo."

"Pretty in real life, ain't he?" Dee observed dryly, and leaned down to wipe over Ryo's table with a rag.

Pretty was being generous. Ronaldo Forza, Ronnie to his friends, wasn't exactly small time in the criminal underworld. Drugs, prostitution, racketeering, a little bit of extortion, a few dead bodies Homicide had never been able to pin on him. He also wasn't exactly an attractive man. Perhaps he'd been in a few too many fights a little too close to his developmental stages, but it honestly looked like someone had taken to him with the ugly stick. His wasn't a face you forgot, even if he hadn't been on the Organised Crime Unit's wanted list.

"Well, anyway," Dee added, straightening again to put his hand on his hip, which somehow drew Ryo's attention away from Forza where he was talking to what looked to be the club manager, a large, swarthy man who looked more like a bouncer than a business owner. Instead, for a moment, Ryo found himself staring at Dee's crotch and the bulge of his cock which, it had to be said, wasn't exactly subtle under the tight stretch of his shorts. "Just got word. Apparently, I got a private function to attend to now, so that'll be four bucks."

Ryo frowned and dug into his wallet for the cash, reaching up to deposit it on Dee's tray. Dee was saying he was in on whatever meeting Forza was here for and Ryo suddenly had some fairly grave misgivings. This was big, bigger than it had been a few minutes ago, than either of them had anticipated, bigger than the Vice Squad had led him to believe and there was going to be hell to pay if they just hadn't bothered to mention it.

But however the situation had changed, he couldn't blow the operation. Whatever conversation Forza was here to have, it could be important, and if Dee could get in on it, it could mean weeks of progress for Vice. Ryo was just going to have to sit tight and keep watch, and if anything went wrong, well, he'd be close by, right?

It would have been more reassuring if Ryo didn't already know how quickly things could go wrong.

"And a bit extra," he added and reached forward and tucked another few bills under the leg of Dee's shorts, fingers curling a little possessively against the soft, warm skin of his groin. "Use it to take care of yourself."

Dee would have gotten his meaning, but instead he took a breath and held it, staring down at Ryo for a moment with large, startled eyes. And then he huffed out a muttered _Fuck_ , gave Ryo a look and pulled casually out of reach.

"Or maybe," Ryo added before Dee could slip away completely, " _I_ could take care of you instead? How long before you get off work?" Maybe it sounded like a pick up line – well, it was supposed to, but what Ryo really wanted to know was how long Dee expected to be sitting in on Forza's meeting before Ryo needed to start worrying.

Dee gave him an assessing look. "I've been told twenty, thirty minutes, tops."

Ryo smiled up at him, and maybe there was a slightly gritty edge to it

"Then I'll wait," he promised.

++++

So, Ryo waited. It felt like the longest thirty minutes of his life.

And then it felt like the longest forty. And then Forza and his two shadows appeared from the side door they'd disappeared through thirty minutes ago and wove through the crowd, heading for the exit. There was a smile on Forza's mug, a mean smile. The queasy feeling that had settled in Ryo's stomach fifteen minutes ago abruptly intensified.

He suddenly saw he had two choices. He could stay here and trust that the Vice guys in the van would come in guns blazing if something was going horribly wrong, or he could go take a look, and thinking about all the things that could possibly have gone wrong with an operation like this and a man like Forza, it didn't end up being that much of a choice.

So he got up and walked away from his table like he was a little drunk and going to the men's, and next to the side door he suddenly realised his shoelace was undone, bent down to tie it and instead reached up, turned the door handle and slipped into the hallway beyond, closing it carefully behind him before straightening and reaching for his piece.

There were a lot of doors along the corridor he found himself in. Some of them were closed, some of them open and, when he passed cautiously and quietly by them, empty. When the fifth open room he passed had a bed in it, the sixth too, Ryo started to feel a thread of worry. Vice had said Forza was into all sorts of things. From the look of this hallway, one of them was prostitution. He kept going, telling himself if anything was wrong, McCallum and Walmsley would already be in here and backup would be on the way, but he couldn't help thinking - what if they didn't know Dee was in trouble? What if they'd been compromised somehow?

And then it suddenly didn't matter, because from another three doors down, where light was spilling out into the corridor, Ryo heard the unmistakable sound of Dee's voice swearing.

He swept forward, moving fast but careful, minding the doors between him and where Dee was, focused on the sounds coming from the room – a dull thud of heavy sound, a grunt that could have been anyone's, the scraping protest of something metal against something concrete. As he reached the door, the sounds only got worse. He pressed himself against the wall next to the opening, took a breath and then darted a look around the door frame.

Two men; one of them Dee, the other, the manager Ryo had seen outside. This close and without the benefit of club lighting, the guy looked even bigger than he had before, solid and brutish. One meaty hand was gripping the back of Dee's neck and pressing his face down into a bunk bed similar to the others Ryo had seen in the rooms along the hall, and his hips were pressed against Dee's ass as he held him down and twisted Dee's arm sharply up behind his back. What little Dee had been wearing before, there was less of it now, and Dee's face was a mixture of pain and defiance and anger and-

Fear.

Ryo's vision washed white. When it came back a couple of beats later, he was standing inside the room with his piece trained on Dee's assailant.

"What the fuck?" the manager said when he saw Ryo, and Ryo gripped the handle on his Sig a little harder.

"Get off him," he told him. "No sudden moves. I mean it."

"Who the fuck are you? A cop?"

"Do I look like a cop? I'm his _boyfriend_ ," Ryo all but snarled. Maybe Dee's cover was blown and maybe it wasn't. If it wasn't then Ryo wasn't going to help the situation by declaring them both cops. He had no idea how many guys were lurking back here or what had happened to the guys in the van. "Who the fuck are _you_?"

The manager didn't move, but looked a lot more cautious than he sounded when he said, "I'm the boss, and you, son, do not know who you are fucking with."

Ryo narrowed his eyes at him and made a show of adjusting his grip on his weapon again, the way an amateur would, not the way a cop did.

"I don't give a shit if you're the President. Let him the fuck up or I'll put a bullet in your god damn kneecap. Dee, get over here. _Now_."

"Ex," Dee managed, as the manager released him so he could struggle up off the bed. " _Ex_ -boyfriend. How many times have I told you, you crazy bastard?" But he came anyway, a little shakily, holding what was left of his shorts together with one hand and cradling the other against his stomach. "How the hell did you find me, anyway? I thought I'd managed to lose you for good."

Code again, at least partially. The rest of it was probably for the manager's benefit and it was a good cover. Ryo went with it.

"I always know where you are, Dee," he said, and hoped whatever vicious smile was on his face would be interpreted as suitably psychotic by their audience. "It's not over until I say it's over."

Dee just stared at him, open mouthed like he was a little shocked, and on impulse Ryo reached over, caught him around the back of the neck and jerked him forward. When their mouths met, Dee's was still open.

It was dirty and fast and showy and all Ryo, and when Ryo was done he pushed Dee back again, like Dee was just there for whatever Ryo wanted from him. And Dee just stood there, staring at him a little open mouthed, only this time he looked slightly flushed as well.

"I told you what I'd do if you messed around on me again," Ryo said darkly, and glanced at the manager, who had clearly been standing, watching them, with almost as much surprise as Dee.

Dee picked up on his signal almost instantly, and darted a look across to his soon-to-be-ex boss.

"Oh, Jesus, don't," he choked, and there was a thread of panic in his voice Ryo for a split second wasn't sure was acting. "People saw me come back here with him. The police find his body, I'll get done. Just- Just let him go, baby. I promise I'll be good. Come on. Please. He won't say anything."

"They wouldn't find a body," Ryo promised, and watched as the manager paled.

"No," Dee begged. "No, come on. Let's just get out of here. It's all good, right?" He grabbed at Ryo's arm, started tugging him back out into the hall, but Ryo wasn't finished.

"You can't go out there dressed like that, sweetheart. It's cold. People will look at you. Put something on. You. Give him your coat."

He gestured with the gun again and the manager hesitated, narrowed his eyes a moment as if to judge how serious Ryo was, and then shrugged out of his coat and held it out.

"Go on," Ryo told Dee and Dee darted forward again to snatch up the coat and then darted back again as he shrugged into it and pulled it shut.

"Don't try to have us followed. Don't try to call Dee or contact him in any way," Ryo told him in a hard a tone as he had ever used. "Next time I see you, I won't be quite so restrained."

And with that, he swept an arm around Dee's shoulders and together they retreated back into the hallway and as soon as they were out of sight, they started running.

"Jesus fuck," Dee hissed as they hit the door at the end and stumbled out into an alleyway. "Are you _insane_? And where the fuck is the backup?"

"I don't know," Ryo said. "Something must have happened. Did he hurt you?" He couldn't take another step until he checked, swinging into Dee's path and grabbing him, holding his head and staring into his face and his hands were shaking, he realised, and so was Dee. "Did he-"

"No," Dee said, a little fast. "No. But man, your timing is fucking _awesome_. Seriously."

Ryo swore then, harshly, and surged forward to kiss Dee again and they couldn't do this right now, but Christ that had been kind of close.

"I am going to kill those guys in Vice," Ryo promised when he'd drawn back, and Dee gave him a grim smile and clutched his stolen coat a little more tightly around his body.

"I'll help," he offered. "But can we do it later? I'm fucking freezing my balls off here."

++++

Killing the guys in Vice was off the cards as soon as they got around to the front of the club and saw what had happened.

A fucking car accident. Someone had planted their front fender right into the side of the van and now there was a patrol car and an ambulance on the scene and a crowd forming on the sidewalk to watch.

"That's brilliant," Dee muttered, but Ryo stayed him with a hand on his arm.

"It could have been Forza," Ryo reminded. "Stay here. I'll go see what happened."

Leaving Dee to lurk in the shadows alone, unarmed and half dressed, wasn't the hardest thing he'd done tonight but it was close. He couldn't risk the manager coming out and seeing either of them talking to police detectives, and Dee in his bare legs and his oversized coat was stood out a lot more than Ryo did right now. Still, Ryo was careful. He eased around the edge of the crowd and caught sight of McCallum, who was sitting on the open end of the bus getting a head wound patched up. Just as the paramedic shifted to one side, Ryo slid into McCallum's line of sight, and then McCallum was waving the medic away and nodding Ryo towards the far side of the van, out of view of the crowd forming in front of the club.

"What the hell happened?" Ryo demanded as soon as McCallum was within range. "Dee needed you in there!"

"Christ," McCallum gritted out, and then tried to push his hand through his hair only to realise it was matted with blood. He brought the hand back down again, looked at it a little distastefully, and then wiped it on the leg of his jeans. "A god damn drunk driver," he said, shaking his head. "He came round that far corner, lost control and hit us hard enough to knock us around like candy in a piñata."

Ryo frowned at the mostly cleaned wound that could be seen slicing its way into McCallum's hairline. "Walmsley ok?" he asked.

McCallum shrugged. "Broken collar bone, fractured femur. One of the units landed on top of him when we got hit. What about Laytner? He okay? What happened in there? The last we heard, Forza and Swansey were talking about the new factory, and then, wham."

Ryo shook his head. "Dee's okay," he assured. "So it wasn't Forza? That hit you?"

"Not that I can tell. DUI got taken over to Downtown Emergency for head trauma but the paramedics were saying he probably didn't even feel it, his blood alcohol was that high."

Ryo nodded. "Then your operation might still be salvageable. It's possible Dee's cover was intact when we left. Not that he'll be able to go back." And Ryo wasn't apologising for that. McCallum was lucky he wasn't punching him in the mouth, actually.

"We got some good sound bytes before the accident," McCallum said. "If the data is still there, it'll be admissible. And there's a lead we never had. We had intel that Forza was running a male prostitution ring out of here but that he was moving it. Up until tonight, we didn't know where."

"Good," Ryo said, thinking of that hallway with all those doors and the empty beds, and the one that, tonight, hadn't been quite so empty. "That's good. But right now, I'm taking Dee home. You can have at him for what else he knows tomorrow some time. If he's feeling up to it."

McCallum nodded, and looked Ryo straight in the face.

"Thanks, MacClane," he said intently. "I mean it. You tell Laytner that. You tell him I owe him. Any time you two want to work Vice, we'll take you both in a flash."

As bad as it had been tonight, McCallum's sincerity, his appreciation, wasn't something Ryo could hold a grudge against.

"Are you kidding?" he said, and touched him on the arm, carefully, just in case he was feeling a little tenderised from his run in with Newton's Laws. "This job is way too boring."

McCallum blinked and then barked out a soft laugh, and Ryo patted him again, and then turned and slipped back into the shadows and made his way back to Dee.

"You a popsicle yet?" he asked as he reached him and Dee started and then Ryo saw his face and it wasn't the outside temperature or his lack of clothing that made him look that pale; he was in shock.

"Shit," Ryo gasped. "Dee, I'm sorry! Christ, you were almost- And I left you -"

"No," Dee argued, his voice stuttering out through his bloodless lips. "It's okay. I'm okay. What happened? Are the guys okay?"

"They're fine. A bit banged up. They were hit by a drunk driver, would you believe it?"

Dee shuddered out a laugh. It didn't sound quite right.

"I'm getting you home," Ryo decided, and gently wrapped an arm around Dee's shoulders, more to make sure he didn't try to plant his face in the pavement than for any real comfort. "Car's down on the next block. Can you make it?"

"Okay," Dee said faintly, not laughing anymore. "Sure."

+++

They were home in record time. The first thing Dee did as soon as they were inside the apartment was make a b-line for the bathroom. Ryo shut the door behind him, locked it, and followed, watching as Dee peeled himself out of the coat and shorts, before realising he was still wearing his boots. He slumped down on the toilet to bend down and start wrestling them off like he was sleepwalking through the whole routine and Ryo slid past him and reached into the shower cubicle and turned the water on, made it nice and hot. And then he turned and framed Dee's face gently with both hands and tilted his head up to the light. Pupils seemed fine, his motor skills were slow but his coordination was normal. So, not drugged at least.

Dee made a small, irritated noise and shifted his head out of Ryo's hands.

"I'm fine," he insisted in response to Ryo's unspoken question but Ryo only frowned.

"Have your shower," Ryo told him. "I'll make some tea – No, _tea_ , not coffee – and something to eat. I'll bring you some clothes. Don't lock the door."

Ryo turned and bent down to collect Dee's clothes and shoes and then without another word he slipped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

He didn't know what else to do, so he went about doing what he knew. He dumped the clothes in the bin and the boots in the entry way and then went and put the kettle on and retrieved some leftover casserole from the freezer and put it in the microwave on defrost. And when the water was boiled, he made a pot of tea and put out two cups. The shower was still going.

Eventually, after spending several long moments staring out his kitchen window with the microwave humming gently behind him, he admitted to himself that wasn't going to be able to leave Dee alone, even if that was what he needed. The last thing he wanted to do was crowd him after what he'd been through, but in a way they'd _both_ been through it. He needed to know Dee was alright, needed to be near him, needed him not out of his sight, no matter how illogical or smothering it might have been.

Sighing, Ryo went to the wardrobe and fetched out some of Dee's clothes - a pair of track pants and a sweater - and carried them back over to the bathroom, knocked softly and then let himself in.

"Dee?"

There was only a short pause before Dee responded. "Yeah."

"I brought you some clothes."

"Thanks," Dee said. "I'll be out in a minute."

Ryo nodded, put the clothes down on the sink and then moved back to sit down on the toilet and watch Dee as he ducked his head slowly under the spray, the lines of his body in soft focus through the steam and the condensation on the cubicle screen. Ryo watched him and made himself think about how it had felt to find Dee practically naked with some stranger on top of him, about to be raped. The anger he'd felt earlier at not being told about Dee's secondment was nothing at all compared to the anger he felt remembering the look on Dee's face, startled and scared and desperate in that second he'd entered the room.

It was so easy, too easy, to believe that Dee was as self sufficient, as independent as he liked to pretend. He was capable, courageous and cared more than was probably good for him sometimes. But he was also human, and that made him vulnerable. And he was stubborn and that made him think that he had to handle everything alone. Dee laughed off so many things, seemed so impervious, but he wasn't. Even Ryo forgot that sometimes.

"It's not that I didn't trust you," Ryo said finally over the sound of the spray. "To be honest, it never even occurred to me not to. In reality, I was jealous. In some ways, I'm always jealous."

The sound of the shower continued for another moment and then shut off, and then after another moment, Dee opened the door and stepped out, reaching for a towel. Ryo leaned to one side while Dee wrapped the first around his waist and grabbed another one, handing it to him so he could use it to dry his hair.

It was another full minute before anyone said anything.

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you," Dee said finally, quietly. It wasn't the declaration it could have been, more a plain fact. "What part of that don't you get?"

Ryo sighed, and leaned back against the cistern.

"I guess the part where I'm terrified of losing you," he confessed. "Where something or someone takes you away from me. Where I don't deserve you and never have. Where someone better than me comes along or you wake up one day and-"

"Stop it," Dee said, not ungently, and then he was standing in front of Ryo, hovering, not coming any closer but still far too far away. "There is no one better than you and nothing like that is ever going to happen. _Ever_. You're stuck with me until you're old and grey. I don't know how to reassure you any more than that."

Ryo stared up at him, at his serious face, his sad eyes, and it should make him happy, what Dee was saying, but maybe that was too simple, too superficial, happiness. What Ryo felt for Dee went beyond anything that easy, that fragile. And maybe that wasn't right, wasn't exactly what you would call healthy, but he couldn't pretend it wasn't there.

"When I saw what was that bastard was trying to do to you, when I saw how scared you were..." He'd felt things, selfish things, dangerous things. And he didn't know; he honestly didn't know what he would have done if he'd been too late.

"I _was_ scared," Dee breathed. "I was terrified. But even if he _had_..." and here his mouth went tight for a moment, like it was trying to keep the words in, like he didn't want to say them and make it real, "...raped me, we would have been okay. No matter what happens, we'll be okay. I mean it."

"I know," Ryo said, and he tried to make himself believe it, tried to make that belief crush that small, hard kernel of fear living deep inside him. "I know. I'm sorry."

Dee's hand brushed the side of his face, tenderly, and his eyes were still a little haunted but his mouth was curving more easily now.

"Idiot," he chided gently. "You don't have to be sorry for something like that."

"Dee," Ryo breathed. "Come here."

And Dee came, without question, without hesitation, moving to straddle himself across Ryo's lap and put his hands on his shoulders. Ryo just gazed up at him. Dee was warm and damp and his skin was pink and when he gazed back down into Ryo's face his eyes were alive again, alight.

"You were pretty cool, though, you know," he told Ryo after another moment, and now his smile had a faint, playful twist to it. "Acting like you were some kind of crazy stalker. Ordering me around. Getting all possessive."

Ryo smiled back. "You should be careful," he warned, sliding his hands up Dee's damp thighs and over the folds of the towel to his waist. "It might not be that far from the truth."

"I would be so lucky," Dee teased.

"What, so you _liked_ it?" Ryo teased back, and Dee sighed again as he pushed his thumbs down under the towel and rubbed at Dee's hipbones.

"I might have. You might have to give it another go and see."

Ryo smirked. He could do that. He could definitely do that.

"Kiss me," he demanded, and Dee grinned and ducked his head and kissed him.

"Deeper," Ryo told him when Dee backed off. "Open your mouth. Use your tongue. Do it properly. It's not like you don't know how."

Dee laughed softly and shifted a little on Ryo's lap, shimmying – it was the only word Ryo could use to describe it – closer so he could wrap his arms around Ryo's head, and this time when he kissed him Ryo pushed up into it, gripped Dee at the waist and the bare, wet curve of his back and pulled him closer. Dee made a muffled sound of pleasure into Ryo's mouth and then sucked Ryo's tongue into his mouth, which only made Ryo want to pull him closer still. When they parted again – and it was a while before they did – Dee was breathing harder and his eyes were dark and warm.

"Take off the towel," Ryo husked, almost a request but still something of an order. "I want to see you."

Dee smirked and reached down to slowly unwrap the towel knotted around his hips, Ryo's hands following it as it slid off and pooled across his knees under the press of Dee's thighs, until his fingers were clenching gently, insistently into the damp flesh of Dee's ass.

"Fuck," Dee breathed, and leaned down to kiss Ryo again, a little harder this time. Between them, Ryo could feel Dee's erection starting to press against his stomach.

"Dee, is this okay?" Ryo asked, as Dee shifted his mouth to the sensitive hollows under Ryo's jaw line. He wasn't even sure what he was asking, but somehow he just needed to know.

"Yeah," Dee groaned softly. "Of course it is."

Ryo forced himself to breathe, to just stay focused on Dee for once, instead of himself and his own pleasure and how Dee always made him feel.

"And this?" He nosed at the side of Dee's head, buried his face in his damp hair and inhaled the clean, fresh scent of him and skimmed the fingers of one hand gently down between Dee's buttocks, fingertips gliding across sensitive skin to his asshole, stopping, pressing, rubbing. "Is this okay?"

"Jesus," Dee panted fervently, and _undulated_ on his lap. " _Yes_. Christ, what's gotten into you?"

He didn't sound displeased, so Ryo didn't stop what he was doing.

"I want you," Ryo confessed raggedly. He was just as aroused by this, by where they were pressed together, by Dee's weight on him, as Dee was. It was familiar, and yet different, somehow, and it was making his hands shake as he touched him. "I've wanted you ever since I saw you tonight in that place, wearing those shorts and those boots and nothing else, walking around like that where everyone could see you and where you were the only one, the only one _at all_ , worth looking at."

"Ryo," Dee moaned, and that was different too, like he couldn't get enough breath, like he was drowning and Ryo was his only lifeline. "Please."

"Reach over and get the lube," Ryo told him breathlessly. "There should be some in the bottom drawer."

Dee lunged almost straight off Ryo's lap, wrenching the cabinet drawer open while Ryo struggled to anchor him. As he rummaged around half blindly in the drawer, Ryo leaned over and set his teeth and lips around one of Dee's nipples.

"Fuck," Dee gasped, and Ryo heard something plastic hit the floor and muffled a laugh against Dee's skin. "Fuck. Shit. Stop- Stop that! Damn it. Here." He straightened and shoved the tube of lube at Ryo's chest, forcing him to let him go with one hand so he could grab it. "Come on. Come on."

"Okay," Ryo laughed. "Give me a sec- _Oh_..."

"Yeah," Dee purred, and slid his fingers down Ryo's dick where it was still trapped in his pants, while his other hand deftly started pulling at Ryo's belt. "I want this," he growled with a little squeeze. "I want it."

"You keep doing that," Ryo warned shakily, "and you'll get it sooner than you'd like. This is going to be a little awkward, you know." He was thinking that the closed lid of the toilet seat wasn't exactly the largest of surface areas. He was thinking there was a bed, their bed, not that far away. He was also thinking it would be a shame to have to move to it and interrupt this, whatever hungry, desperate thing it was that was possessing Dee, that was possessing them both.

"I don't care," Dee panted, and by now he'd gotten Ryo's pants open and was trying to get them down far enough to drag out Ryo's cock. "Come on, Ryo."

Ryo popped the lid on the tube and juggled Dee so he could squeeze some of its contents out onto his fingers, and Dee hummed and nuzzled kisses into the side of his face and neck as he reached back around and slid his slicked fingers down around Dee's asshole, before slowly, carefully sliding one in.

Dee hummed again and sighed, and Ryo turned his head and kissed him, slow and gentle, as he worked Dee's hole open.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" he told him, and he couldn't seem to get his voice to raise above a whisper. "You're always telling me I'm beautiful, but you're the one who's beautiful. I've never met anyone like you."

Dee huffed against his cheek, perhaps a laugh, because he said, "Stop it. You're making me blush," like it was a joke but also like it wasn't.

Ryo laughed back. "No," he corrected. "I'm making you blush because you're turned on and I've got my fingers in your ass, and, oh, is that your prostate?"

Dee jerked a little and gasped then moaned when Ryo rubbed against the gland again.

"No, it's my god damn wonder button," he griped breathlessly, as Ryo slid his fingers out. "And I'm _wondering_ when you're going to get _on_ with it."

"Well," Ryo smirked, "you're the one who's on top."

Dee looked down at him. Ryo suspected it was meant to be a glare but it really didn't have anywhere near the focus it should have had.

"Oh, so that's the way you want to play it?"

Ryo just smiled and pushed his fingers back in again and scissored them gently, just to watch Dee's expression change. He wasn't disappointed. If at all possible, Dee's face went even slacker with arousal before he shut his hanging mouth with a snap and set his jaw in something like determination.

"Right, that is it," he grunted, and in a feat of flexibility and balance Ryo wasn't sure he himself could have ever managed, he lifted up off Ryo's lap, yanked his pants roughly down – making Ryo laugh and gasp and scrabble to stay on the seat in the process – and then wriggled back into place, slid his hand down Ryo's dick and lined it up.

"Dee!" Ryo gasped again, a little in protest this time. "A condom?" They didn't really need them anymore, but they tended to use them more often than not just to save the mess.

"Fuck that," Dee growled, and Ryo could see that he was serious.

"Then at least let me-" Ryo managed. "A little more-" He fumbled the lube open again as Dee deliberately and quite cruelly, Ryo thought, stroked a tight, hot fist down his length. Ryo shuddered and managed to get some more lube into his hand, then rushed to meet Dee's hand around his dick. Their fingers tangled, sharing the slick, and then Dee was moving him again, rolling his hips and pressing the head of Ryo's cock against his slicked hole. Ryo dragged in a breath, shifted the grip of his clean hand to Dee's waist and wrapped the slick one around Dee's dick as Dee lowered his weight.

"God!" Ryo gasped. Too fast. Too fast. Suddenly Dee was on him, all around him, tight and hot and slick and it was all Ryo could do just to sit still. "Dee?"

"'s fine," Dee slurred, panting, as he put his hands back on Ryo's shoulders and settled down a little more. "Feels good."

"Christ," Ryo breathed thickly, bumping his forehead against Dee's sternum and closing his eyes. "Please move."

"Yeah," Dee agreed. "Okay." He rolled his hips, once, and then again, short, punctuated movements that made Ryo see stars. It was awkward, the way Ryo had thought it would be, but it was also _perfect_ , and he couldn't stop himself – on the next roll of Dee's hips, he thrust up to meet him. He must have hit Dee's prostate pretty accurately too, because Dee's body jerked like he'd just pulled a string and his eyes just about rolled back in his head.

And as if by some unspoken agreement suddenly they couldn't get close enough, couldn't move fast enough or come together hard enough. Ryo wrapped his arm around Dee's waist to keep him where he wanted him – _needed_ him - and Dee's body arched and bowed against him with each thrust as he rode him, mouth open, breath rushing raggedly out. Ryo had just enough coordination to be able to start jerking Dee off with his free hand, fast, squeezing down against the crown in a way that never failed to get Dee there, right there, and if the way that Dee was clenching down on him as he rocked in Ryo's lap was any indication, it was working now, and it was so good, and Dee was so beautiful, and Ryo loved him _so much_ , that he couldn't – didn't want to – hold back.

"Dee," he heard himself moan, trying to say it all, say everything in that one word. " _Dee_."

"Christ," Dee muttered, folding down to kiss him hot and messy and desperate. "Christ, Ry-" But the rest of Ryo's name came out high and thin and Dee's cock strained in Ryo's hand and then Dee was coming, pulsing in Ryo's fist, his arms tangled around him, his body moulded to him and it was too much. Ryo felt his toes curl, his balls draw up in a delirious burst of heat and shuddered and felt his own orgasm rush through him, sharp and painful and wonderful.

All he could do after that for a few moments was cling to Dee and hope to God they didn't tip off the toilet seat, because his limbs definitely weren't strong enough to keep them upright right now. He was actually trembling from the effort and the position they'd been holding, and his ass was starting to let him know that his weight and Dee's on a hard toilet seat lid was not an ideal way to treat it.

But on the other hand, Dee was clinging too, and that was nice. He didn't do that much.

"Hmm," Ryo intoned eventually, his voice still too low and too husky for general conversation. "Guess it's back in the shower for you, after that."

"Mmm," Dee agreed lazily, and turned his head on Ryo's shoulder so he could look at him."You too. Also? I think we ruined your suit."

Ryo smiled at him and closed the remaining distance between them and kissed him softly.

"I don't care about the suit."

"I'll remind you you said that when we have to send it to the dry cleaners."

Ryo laughed. "I am not sending a suit covered in semen to the dry cleaners," he told him. "You know that."

"Yeah, I know." And then Dee paused. "Ryo? Thanks."

Ryo blinked, and then frowned a little, and when Dee didn't say anything and didn't move, he slid a hand up to one of his shoulders and gently urged him upright so that he could look at his face.

"Dee, what for?"

Dee almost looked like he wanted to avoid the question, like he was embarrassed.

"I don't know," he started. "For coming to find me. For riding in, you know, on a white horse. For being the one who's strong enough when I need you to be, and letting me... letting me be something else instead."

"Dee," Ryo breathed, and there was the smallest of aches in his throat at those words. "Idiot," he added gently, caressing the side of Dee's jaw where stubble was already starting to roughen his jawline. "You don't have to thank me for something like that."

"Maybe," Dee said, shrugging, but not as if it didn't mean anything. "Can I thank you for a really good orgasm, then?" he added, and smiled the kind of smile that Ryo couldn't help but smile back at.

"I suppose you could," Ryo demurred. "Although, I think an equitable system of _quid pro quo_ would be a much more practical form of appreciation, don't you?"

"Oh," Dee said sceptically. "You do, do you? Well, providing I can ever move my hips agai- Hey!"

Ryo laughed as he stood up, forcing Dee to scrabble for balance until he was on his feet, and then Ryo was kissing him again, pushily, and herding him back towards the shower even while he was stripping off his now slight soiled and damp clothes.

"I see you're going to need a little convincing," he suggested, mock innocently as he reached past Dee to turn the water on again, and Dee grinned and put his arms around his neck and dragged him inside.

"Trust me," he assured. "I'm going to need a lot of convincing. But I know you. You're stubborn. You'll manage it eventually."

"What's this eventually?" Ryo challenged, but Dee's answer was lost under the spray and a laugh and Ryo's mouth for a good long while.


End file.
